Covid restriction are lifting and we can finally do things again, like travel and hang out with friends and have parties. Other parts of life are also starting to return too, including a looming return to the office in the fall. As much as I am excited to be able to do things and see people again, I don’t know that I want life to go back to how it was pre-Covid, especially my work life. I finally feel like I have some sense of balance, and I’m not ready for that to go away. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to hold on to it much longer. It sounds like we’ll be required to return to the office after Labor Day and commuting and racing home to be with the kids will once again be my life if I don’t make a change myself. I’m not going to lie, it’s stressing me out. In an effort to distract myself, I decided it was the perfect time to create my summer 2021 bucket list so I can focus on ensuring this is one of our best summers to date.
Summer is usually my favorite time of year and something I really look forward to. This year, I have mixed feelings. I had planned to be thrilled and was certain it would be our best one to date. I had already started planning it before we even knew if we’d be able to travel or do much. But life gave me a kick in the gut (and heart) recently. I haven’t mentioned this before because I wasn’t sure I was ready, but we suffered a miscarriage at few weeks ago that, if I’m being honest, I’m still reeling from. A lot of the summer plans I had made had this vision of me being pregnant and it being our last summer as a family of four. And if you’ve been following along, you know we’ve struggled with infertility. Getting pregnant hasn’t been easy and then to lose a baby right when I had allowed myself hope that we’d be a family of five before the end of the year, really killed me. I have been struggling to get excited about anything, even all the fun summer plans we made because I had envisioned them all pregnant and with the joy of building the family I always dreamed of. I’m sure this is not what any expert would recommend, but I’ve decided to plow through the grief and focus on staying busy. When I’m hurting, I like to distract myself with organizing and lists and to-dos, so it felt like the perfect time to create our summer 2021 bucket list.
While it’s been hard to think of this summer without feeling our loss again and again, I am hoping a bucket list will force me to focus on the positive — how lucky I am to have my two healthy babies and our sweet little family, our health, and the chance to once again do things like travel, hang out with friends, and celebrate with loved ones. I filled our summer 2021 bucket list with all the things I hope will help us push through this grief and make this one of our most memorable summers to date.
Here’s what’s on my summer 2021 bucket list:
Swim Lessons for the Kids
Charleston and Kiawah
Throw an Epic 40th Birthday Bash for Andrew
Host a Fun 2nd Birthday Party for Charlotte
Paddle Boarding and Canoe Rides at the Lake
Road Trip to Charlottesville
Getaway with Andrew without the Kids
Weekly Tennis Dates with Andrew
Camp for James
Road Trip to Rhode Island or Maine
S’Mores Around the Fire Pit
Fourth of July Fireworks
Water Balloon Fight
BBQ with Friends
Lot’s of Ice Cream Dates
Sunday Fundays at the Club
Family movie night