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My New Year’s Resolutions

by krismkoch

Happy New Year! After the highs and lows of 2017, I’ve decided to change things up this year, and to stop hoping and dreaming of things I want or want to do, and stop being jealous of other people doing things I want to do, and really make things happen this year. After all, this year really showed me that if nothing else, we really owe it to ourselves to live our best lives and stop letting others or our own insecurities/fears/etc. hold us back, right?

So rather than making resolutions, I want to set goals that I will (notice how I said will rather than hope?) achieve in 2018. I think it’s important to take stock and reassess and set goals for the year ahead so that things don’t get so crazy and move so fast that suddenly, the life you’re living doesn’t look like the life you want and you haven’t achieved what you want. With that said, resolutions always drive me nuts, because like everyone else, I make them and then break them and then feel bad about it. So this year, I’m making a list of all the things I will (not want, but will) achieve, and I’m going to start this year off by making actual plans for how I will achieve them. It’s no longer going to be about wants and would be and one days. It’s about now. In 2018. To that end, I’m sharing my list below, so you can all hold me accountable. What if we’re all in this together, and we all hold each other accountable and help each other reach our girls? Share yours with me. I would love to be inspired by what you are going to achieve this year, and would love to help so let me know if there’s any content you would love to see on this blog or topics you want me to tackle that will help make your 2018 better. It can be something as small as what to wear with over the knee boots, or closet organizing tips, parenting and pregnancy tips, or some inspo for a total life overhaul.

 

In the meantime, I’m sharing my 2018 to-do (or maybe I should say, will-do) list and some pledges to myself for how I’m going to get there.

In 2018, I will:

1. Order less takeout and learn to cook (a little).

Now that James is actually eating, I really want to instill healthy eating habits in him, and I’m realizing in order to do that, I really need to learn to cook and plan healthy meals for the family. It will be good for Andrew and I as well and save us on takeout. Honestly, I’m sick of all the takeout around us, which is saying a lot considering we live in NYC, and I know that it’s not the healthiest. Even when we order healthier options, I know there’s always way more butter, fat, etc. than we would put if we were making it at home. Plus, other than Chinese and sushi, it’s rarely as good at home as in the restaurant, especially when it’s the dead of winter. I am not going to attempt to make anything super fancy here, I am a novice in the kitchen at best and have no patience, but I do want to learn to make some simple dishes that I can make quickly and easily on nights and weekends without thinking about it. I’m going to start searching recipes and will share my attempts at making them with you, so you can laugh at my pathetic journey to becoming a functioning cook, but let me know if you have any great recipes or sites with healthy, easy recipes for families.

2. Plan fun activities to make the most of our weekends and free time with James.
I really get so sad at the end of the weekends. Now that we have James, that time is so precious to me. I hate leaving for work on Monday, but it always makes it easier when we have a super full weekend and I feel like I really got quality time and memories with the family. I find that we often end up fighting on Saturday or Sunday afternoons when we’ve been up for hours with James, we’re tired and in need of more caffeine and can’t decide what to do and don’t have time to debate before James has to go down for his nap. This year, rather than fight over activities and end up doing nothing or something ill-planned, I want to plan out our weekends for the whole month, so we have fun activities to look forward to, slot in some fun times with friends, and do a lot with our family. Any fun ideas for what to start with when it’s negative a thousand degrees in January? Some things on my list: visiting the train exhibit at the New York Botanical Gardens, visiting the Met, looking at houses in some of the burbs we’re considering around NYC, going upstate for some sledding, cross country skiing and snow shoeing. New York Aquarium, but help! I need more.

3. Travel More

Having a baby and starting a new, bigger role at work and learning to balance all of it meant a lot less travel this year. I was happy to be a homebody and savor my time nesting with my new, growing family, but I’m getting pretty restless and excited to travel more this year. I feel like I finally have the hang of this parenting thing, and before we grow our family more and it gets even harder and more expensive to travel, I’m looking forward to planning some fun trips. I am excited to go somewhere far and new, to take some time off on some quicker weekend trips, and to enjoy exploring with my little family. Rather than just say travel more, I’m committing to these trips this year so we actually take them. Now just need some help narrowing down the spots. Any recs?

March Anniversary Trip: My birthday and anniversary is in March, and  this year, I want to go somewhere big and far. Debating whether we’ll take James, but on the list are the following: Hong Kong, Japan, Vietnam and Cambodia, Amalfi Coast and/or Lake Como, Bermuda, Hawaii

Summer Trip with Our Family: I really want to make the most of this summer with our family. We have a wedding in Vermont in June, and love spending time in the country and visiting Andrew’s parents at the beach, but I’d like to take a week with our family to savor long days at the beach and really get away. On the list of options: Quogue (one of our favorite spots in the Hamptons, where Andrew and I used to rent houses in the summer and first fell in love and have lots of friends), Nantucket, and  Maine.

Winter Ski Trip: I know we only just got back from Park City, but I’m already counting down until we get to go again. It’s such a special place to spend the holidays, and I’m excited to make it a yearly tradition and get James on the slopes next year.

4. Buy a Home

We’re really been outgrowing our space, and if our family grows, we definitely are going to need more space. I’m also really craving the opportunity to renovate and design a home for our family. We’re still trying to figure out where we want to live: city vs suburbs, suburbs vs country, weekend vs permanent home, west coast vs east coast… you get the drift. But this is the year I want to invest in our first family home and work hard to build it. We’ll see what’s in the stars for us, but I’ve always wanted a big family, and I’m hopeful that if we build it, it will come (that’s how it goes, right?).

5. Exercise Daily

I really want to commit to bettering myself and taking care of myself. Before my last pregnancy, I was coming off our honeymoon and the holidays and honestly, sort of let myself go. I don’t regret it — the whole experience was magical and new to me and I had a healthy and easy pregnancy, and for that, I’m so grateful. However, with a little one to run after, I really want to get in amazing shape and now that he’s sleeping through the night, I feel like I finally have time to exercise. I’d love to figure out ways to exercise that are fun and can involve my family rather than just hitting the treadmill at a gym (the likes of which I haven’t seen in years). I’m considering a jogging stroller, Tracy Anderson dance workout vids for days it’s too cold or I can’t make it outside, and doing more activities with the family rather than lounging around on weekends and vacations. Anyone else have fun suggestions I can do with the fam or that don’t involve hanging out a gym?

6. Find My Style and Purge My Closet and Shopping Habits of Anything That Doesn’t Fit It

One of the problems of working in fashion is that you are exposed to so many amazing trends and pieces and surrounded by so many people with amazing style and then you work to cover fashion for all different types of tastes and bodies and occasions that it can be tempting to try a million different looks and fall in love with things you have to have that might not fit your style. It can be hard to define your style when you’re always trying to help others define theirs. But really, even if you don’t work in fashion and are just focused on your own style, it can be hard to define. It does take trial and error and I do think we need to be more forgiving of ourselves to that end. But I am ready to start investing more smartly in pieces that make me feel amazing every time I put them on and in clothes I will wear again and again. I think the best way to do that isn’t to just buy stuff that’s classic (read: often boring) or I’m supposed to have in my closet and instead to figure out my style so everything I wear fits with it. My style evolves as I’ve mentioned and I think that’s ok. Dressing the same year after year is impressive but too boring for my add-self. Since becoming a mom, it’s a little less neutral, slightly more feminine. I hope to really define my look and what works for me and What my wardrobe needs (like a winter coat for special occasions or a pair of black ankle boots that I can wear all day without killing my feet) and investing those to make getting dressed easier and also make me feel better every time I do. First step in all of this though will be a big closet purge. I’m going to be ruthless and sell stuff to real real and other sites so I don’t feel quite so bad.

7. Grow Closetful of Clothes
What was a hobby, a passion project has grown into a full fledge side hustle and I have you to thank for that. While I’m not quite able to quit my day job and invest in closetful of clothes full time, I want to really focus on growing it and creating more of the type of content you want to see. I would like to consistently blog 3 Days/week and double my daily traffic by the end of spring (May). By the fall, I’d like to quadruple my current traffic and social following. In addition to being more consistent with my blogging, I’d like to know more about what type of content you’d like to see so I can bring more of it to you. Right now, the blog is really a smattering of topics I care about, expanding from outfit ideas to my style, motherhood, profiles of women I admire, inspiration for life, and I’d like to dip more into entertaining and home decor this year as well. That’s a lot though. Let me know what you like and don’t. What you want and don’t. I’m all ears. I’m also planning to redesign the website this year, improve my photography, launch a newsletter and introduce weekly franchises.

8. Be more Patient and Present for James

I admit that I’m not a very patient person and I have a temper and James is starting to really test me. And to some extent Dakota and Andrew too. I really want to be a patient and loving mother who doesn’t yell (my mom was a yeller and  it really impacted me as a child), but I’m finding it hard when I’m exhausted and frustrated and Andrew isn’t helping or getting frustrated with me. I know I don’t want a house where parents scream at each other and I know it never helps things or makes Andrew see things my way or the babies behave but it can be so hard not to get angry in the moment. But I know I can’t change other people’s behavior so this year, I’m really committing to working on my own and modeling the behavior I’d like for James. Some things I’ve read that can help are breathing before reacting, laughing or doing something silly in the moment, not reacting and just letting some things slide, and learning to communicate in more effective ways like distracting James right now until he’s old enough to understand no and removing stuff he’s constantly doing that’s problematic like playing with the toilet seat and climbing on the furniture and pushing buttons on the dishwasher.

9. Entertain and See Friends More Often

Toward the end of this year, I really made a point to see a lot of our friends and make play dates and plans for brunch or dinner. Sometimes I’d dread it when the day came but after I was always glad we did it. It was great to catch up with friends, made me feel less alone in this whole parenting thing, and even helped my relationship with Andrew. Plus, we’re up so early with James now, we actually don’t have better things to do like sleep in sonits easy to meet a friend at the park or for brunch or dinner after James is in bed.

10. Invest More in My Beauty Routine

Ok this sounds really superficial but I’ve never been a beauty/makeup person despite working in fashion and beauty. I used to never wear makeup or do my hair, but now that I’m a mother and boss and blogger (!), I’ve been working hard to look less like I didn’t sleep and more like a boss lady and put my most Instagram ready face first. I’m realizing that putting in time for a beauty routine pays off big – things like regular waxes, giving myself weekly facials, washing my face well, using a pricey but good moisturizer with spf that doesn’t cake or feel greasy, getting regular trims, pays off and means I need to do less work in the mornings to look and feel my best. Now as I get older, I want to focus more on caring for my skin, teeth, eyes, body – I know it’ll pay off when I’m my parents age, keep me healthier and feeling better and that in turn will translate to a more confident and capable me.

11. And Most Importantly: Be Grateful for Everything I Have Right Now in This Moment

One of the downsides of being a perfectionist who is also relentlessly ambitious is that I am never satisfied. I had always thought of this as a good quality, believing it’s what drives me forward toward greatness or will. But recently I wondered, how well is that really working out for you kristin (yes sometimes I also talk to myself on the third person)? And you know what, it hasn’t. I don’t feel like my dreams are coming true and I’m living the life I envisioned even though in some ways I am. I’m running the show at a glossy, I’m married with a beautiful baby and the cutest dog ever, we live in a great area in nyc, etc etc but yet, I’m not content. As soon as I got each part of his dream, it wasn’t enough or what exactly I wanted, even though if I think about it my fifteen year old self would be doing flips. I do want more and I should have more and it’s fine if what I want now is different than I did or not enough. But i have a feeling what I get next won’t be enough because it never is and I want to try being grateful for what I have and enjoying it and then maybe I’ll actually be able to better understand what I want and go after bigger things that will actually make me happy. Or maybe I’ll just learn to appreciate what I have and be happy in that and give up this search for more and better. Something tells me I’ll never completely abandon that part of me but if I do and it makes me happy, who cares right?
Okay, I shared mine. Now it’s your turn. Tell me what you’re doing this year.

 

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1 comment

Amanda Mintz Muscato January 4, 2018 - 12:02 am

Kristen! I LOVE your
Blog and you. Seriously on point and would love to be the friend (with Baby) living near you and make
Some plans to get together.
GIrl.. It’s been too long. New Years Resolutions are . I’m with you

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