Wow. I cannot believe I’m already posting a third trimester update. I feel like I just found out I was pregnant. Actually, sometimes I wake up and rush to feel my belly and remind myself I’m no longer living the nightmare of infertility. That’s the tricky thing about pregnancy after infertility. Even when you’re safely into your third trimester, you never fully feel safe.
I thought I would do a third trimester update now that I’m officially in the final stage of pregnancy and answer all the questions I’ve been getting recently.
How are you feeling?
EXHAUSTED. I mean exhausted to a level that I have never experienced previously, even when I was getting zero sleep with newborn James who fed every five secs. Looking back, I was probably this exhausted the first time around, but it was a little easier to phone it in at work. I had a big job, but I wasn’t the boss, so I allowed myself to be worthless some days and I could. Now I have so many more decisions to make, meetings and events, and so much to do to prep so things run smoothly while I’m gone that I can’t really phone it in. That coupled with not being able to just sleep and chill on the couch after work and on weekends, because oh yeah, we have a toddler to entertain and chase around, has probably made this pregnancy more exhausting. I don’t really get any down time, I can’t sleep in, and I am trying to do all these fun things with James before he has to compete for attention with a newborn, grow this blog before I have less time to devote to it and strategize, etc. etc. Oh, and did I mention we’re trying to move and renovate before baby arrives. But other than that, I’m feeling great. I mean I’m definitely noticing that I’m winded more easily, starting to walk a little slower, and my feet are killing me at the end of each day, but really just being dead tired all the time is the biggest change I’ve felt lately.
Are you moving before the baby?!
We are trying to! We knew we needed more space and wanted to move before the baby came, but we agonized over whether to stay in the city or move to the burbs and which suburb even. We even toyed with the idea of moving somewhere far away where the pace and lifestyle would be easier. But we realized we weren’t quite ready to give up our careers in NYC and uproot our entire lives without a compelling reason drawing us someplace new. I am going to dedicate an entire blog post to our moving plans and where we decided to go etc. as well as our renovation plans as soon as we close on our new place, but in the meantime, nothing is set in stone and I don’t want to jinx it. (Apparently, I’ve become a very superstitious person.) But I promise tons of home and moving content coming soon.
How are you prepping James for Baby #2?
As I mentioned in my last update, we are lost as to how to do this. Right now, I’m mostly focused on making the most of our time with him as a family of three and doing really special things with him this summer, especially things that might be hard to do for the first few months when we have a newborn. No matter what we do, I know this is going to be a tough adjustment for him. He’s been the center of our universe (well, along with Dakota) since he was born, and I know he’s not going to love sharing the attention and it’ll be hard in those early days when newborns demand so much attention but I’m sure I’ll start reading about all of that once we have the baby and he’s acting up. I wish I had more time now, but I’ve been focused on studying how to get him fully potty trained and getting tantrums under control (oh, and how to buy a home and adult). Any suggestions are welcome!
Are you keeping your nanny?
We are. She factored heavily into our moving decision, and she is going to come with us. I am so grateful as she’s amazing and it will help provide some consistency for James, which hopefully, will make the transition easier on him. He loves her. It’ll also make returning to work a lot easier for me, as I won’t need to worry that my kids aren’t in great hands. We are very lucky to have found such an amazing person to help us care for our family.
How much weight have you gained?
Sore subject. I had thought I was doing so well in the weight gain department this time around, and then I’ve started packing on the pounds. My last visit, I was certain I had gained only a few pounds, and boy was a I shocked by the number on the scale. I am most focused on a healthy pregnancy and delivery, but I also am pregnant during the summer, so I really didn’t want to feel like a whale at the beach and had these dreams about being that cute pregnant woman at the pool, which if this continues, won’t be me. The funny thing is that while I’ve been hungrier than usual/given into more of my cravings here and there, I have really been pretty healthy and good about my diet, so I think this is just how my body handles pregnancy. Slash maybe this is what pregnancy is. It’s so weird though how you can be eating the same as usual and exercising (though not quite as vigorously) and just gain all this weight. Usually if you’re going to gain a bunch of weight, you want it to be worth it like when you go on vacation to Italy and just indulge on all this amazing food, but honestly, I haven’t even done that and the scale keeps going up and up. I want to keep it real here and be honest that I don’t love gaining the weight, that I wish I could be one of those cute pregnant women who just gets an adorable belly while everything else is tiny, and that I’m nervous about shedding it, especially since I didn’t do a good job last time and already had an extra 10 pounds from fertility treatments. But it is what is is, and at the end of the day, I want to be kind to my body and start making sure I’m setting a good example for my children and their body image by not obsessing over the number on the scale or basing my worth or my fun at the beach this summer on how I look in a bathing suit at eight months pregnant.
Do you have names picked out?
Ahh! Another sore subject. We’re having a hard time finding a name we both love. Like there are some that I like but nothing I’ve found that I really love and am like that’s it or that I could see ourselves calling our little one. Part of the problem is that we had a name that our friends stole. In fairness, we weren’t pregnant at the time and they were so we just said it casually but now we’re like can we use it or would it be weird. How good of friends are we and how often would we see each other? But it’s also just knowing that it’s their child’s name that is making it feel less appealing to us. Help! Anyone hear any cute baby names lately?
What symptoms have you been experiencing?
As I mentioned, I’ve felt out of breath after walking up stairs more easily or chasing James. I have also gotten a lot of charlie horses recently, which may just be dehydration, but I was never particularly prone to them pre-pregnancy. I woke up with one so bad this morning I was screaming and it legit still hurts. My feet have also been SOOO sore. Like I’ll put them up any chance I get and after I put James to bed, I need to just sit with my feet up (and preferably being rubbed). And then as I complained about already, exhaustion. I’m feeling a lot more movement and kicks, which is fun, and I’m definitely getting a lot bigger. There is no hiding this bump any longer and sometimes people even get up for me on the subway now!
Where have you been buying maternity clothes?
I am not a huge fan of maternity clothes, but I am loving the Madewell maternity jeans I bought this time (I also love these jeans I had from my last pregnancy). Other than that, I’ve picked up a few pieces from my fave maternity brand Hatch, maternity tees from ASOS (the price can’t be beat and I love the length), and swimsuits from Gap and Old Navy (seriously how cute is this suit?). Then I’m supplementing with roomy dresses from Zara, Doen, Tory Burch, Ganni, and Dodo Bar Or. Frankly, I had to rally to take pics for this third trimester update, because recently, I’ve just been living in Andrew’s polo shirts, but I do love a nice, pretty sundress when pregnant.
Yes and no. I haven’t had any consistent ones really, but on a given day, I’ll really want guac or chocolate or a burger or something random that I normally wouldn’t eat. While I’m trying not to indulge every sweets craving, personally, I’ve found pregnancy cravings much harder to resist. Like if I want a Levain cookie, I have to have it like right that second.
Any complications with your pregnancy?
I found out I’m anemic this pregnancy, which may account for some of the exhaustion. I’ve been taking an iron supplement and trying to eat more leafy greens and red meat. But one of my friends was anemic with her second pregnancy too and said her doctor said you lose blood with your first birth and it can take a long time to get back. Who knew? Other than that though, I haven’t had any major issues or complications and hoping since this is now my third trimester update, that won’t change.
Have you packed your hospital bag?
No. I just entered my third trimester, so I have some time. With that said, I didn’t actually pack a hospital bag until we decided to leave for the hospital last time around, so I’m hoping to be more organized this time around. I’ll actually do a post about what I wish I had brought in my bag because I legit brought all the wrong things. I had meant to include some ideas in my third trimester update, but this is already getting so long, and it feels like it warrants its own post.
What are you going to do with James when you go into labor?
Good question! We should probably figure that out. I’m glad I decided to do a third trimester update, because it’s forcing me to think about all the things we need to figure out. We will probably have a combo of my nanny and in-laws watch James, but we definitely will have a game plan when we get closer.
Are you having braxton hicks contractions?
Not yet. I don’t think I really had them until pretty close to the end last time, and even then, I didn’t really have them much, although in fairness, James was a few weeks early. Maybe I should do a third trimester update part 2 when we get closer to my due date, because as I remember with James, things change a lot during this trimester and there’s a lot of questions that pop up as you approach labor and delivery.
Are you having a shower or sprinkle?
Yes, my dear best friend is throwing me one in July. Tbh, I felt a little weird having one and registering since I had such a lovely shower the first time around and our friends and family were so generous with so many amazing gifts and hand-me-downs for James. But after all we went through to have this baby, I decided to let myself enjoy it and celebrate. Plus, it’s such a good way to see friends that we sadly don’t see enough of before we have the baby and are thrust into survival mode for a few months.
Are you going to have more kids?
Woah there, this is my third trimester update. Let’s wait until the baby is born, mkay? Just kidding. I always wonder this too when other people are expanding their families. The truth is I would love to. I want to have like ten kids if it were up to me. We struggled so much this time that I don’t know what the future holds for us and Andrew would be happy with two, but having a big family has always been important to me and I don’t easily give up. My plan is to do whatever we need to create the big family I’ve always wanted. With that said, I couldn’t be happier to have another baby and sibling for James, and it feels like a miracle just to be here.
Ok that’s it for questions this time, but feel free to send me more. I’ll try to answer them all in my next update. I’m going to try to do at least one more before