I can’t believe I’m already in my second trimester and heading quickly toward the third. This pregnancy has been such a whirlwind. When I look back, I’ve been pregnant for a loooonnnngggg time. We found out right before Christmas and it’s now almost the start of summer. It’s crazy! I’ve been getting so many questions about this pregnancy, so I thought I’d share a second trimester update.
This pregnancy has also been much more of a rollercoaster than my first time around. I thought when I got into my second trimester I would breathe a sigh of relief, but I am still paranoid that something might go wrong. Hence, why we waited until very recently to tell people. Even after I shared the news with all of you on the blog, I didn’t post on social media until last week. I was so excited and grateful for the overwhelming response and all the sweet messages, and it allowed me some time to finally celebrate the news, but I still feel scared to let myself get too excited lest it all go away.
But thank you for being so supportive and following along with me here. I’ve always felt more comfortable expressing myself by writing and it’s been so amazing to get to share this journey with you here. It’s also been such a relief to be able to talk about my pregnancy (like a second trimester update, need to say it again because it feels so surreal) — this has been a safe space for me and I think it’s because of how amazing you all are and the community we’ve built. So thank you for following along here. And now for my second trimester update!
I have been getting lots of questions though about the pregnancy since we announced the big news. Now that I’m more than halfway through, I thought it was about time for a second trimester update and the perfect opportunity to answer more of your questions.
How are you feeling?
I’m actually feeling pretty good. I’m much more tired with this pregnancy, but I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the fact that I’m juggling a two year old and a more demanding job. My job has gotten especially crazy in the last few months and trying to balance that with the blog and James has been a lot. Did I mention we’re also trying to move before the baby arrives? It hasn’t helped that I haven’t been sleeping that well. Lately, I’ve been skimping on blog posts, which I usually write at night (sorry!) and going to bed super early because I just can’t stay awake. It’s embarrassing, but necessary when you’re waking up to pee like ten times a night and having trouble falling back asleep. I’ve also found I’ve been much more susceptible to colds and flus. Before James, I never got sick, and even though he’s become more of a germ magnet with school and classes, my immune system was pretty solid before getting pregnant. But now I feel like every flu or cold that’s gone around I’ve gotten, and since everyone’s been so sick this year, it’s like every other week, I’m hit with something new. I’ve read that your immune system isn’t as strong when you’re pregs, so I’m sure that’s it, but I just got done with a bad stomach flu, which has also been going around, and it literally wiped me out for a week. I really don’t have time to spend a week in bed, so it was just stressful and terrible, and I legit felt too weak to do anything.
How are you dealing with body changes?
Some days I’m like ugh I hate my thighs (my problem area) or my butt is getting huge or I’m just a huge beast, but I’m actually much more confident in my pregnant body this time. Maybe because I waited so long for it to happen, maybe I’m just getting more comfortable with my body as I get older, or because it’s the second time around and I know more what to expect, but I’m not hiding so much under big dresses like I did the first time. Then again, I still have a few months to go, so I’m sure I’ll be singing a different tune come July/August. I just remember on our babymoon the first time, we were at at the pool, and I was wearing a bikini and only five months and I was embarrassed to take off my cover-up. There was another pregnant woman at the pool, so it wasn’t because I was pregnant but because I felt like I was fat and like one of those not cute pregnant ladies. Some of it was my own neurosis, some of it was because I had gained a lot of weight my first trimester and my doctor had told me (in the nicest way possible) to try to slow down on the weight gain and some of it was just feeling really uncomfortable with my body. Looking back, I wish I had taken more pics and enjoyed my changing body more.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love looking at myself naked in the mirror. (Actually, I cringe if I’m being totally honest.) But I’m so happy to have a bump and I’m trying to focus on enjoying every minute of this pregnancy and not taking it for granted. And listen, I know I’m going to gain weight, I know I’m not going to look like a supermodel after giving birth and it’ll take me months to get back into my jeans. It’s hard when so many bloggers, celebs, moms I follow or know bounce back and are in their jeans a week after giving birth, but that’s just not me (I was still wearing a diaper) and that’s ok. I care more about having a healthy pregnancy, and delivering a healthy baby.
What are you doing to stay in shape? Are you working out?
I am working out. I don’t know if you remember, but I went through this whole rollercoaster over working out when we were struggling to conceive. I stopped, worrying it was hurting my chances. Then I started working out again because I needed to for my mental health and because I was gaining weight from all the fertility treatments and just feeling all-around awful. Then I had to stop again just when I was getting really into it and feeling great and then we found out I was pregnant. I took it easy for the first few weeks and then have taken a really gentle approach to working out since. I know working out is totally fine when you’re pregnant and can be really good for you and all of that, but because of all our troubles and my paranoia, I’ve preferred not to run or do anything too strenuous. I’ve been sticking mostly to the elliptical and speed/power walking (is that what you call it?) at an incline. I keep meaning to incorporate body toning and weight training, but honestly, I haven’t had time. I’m trying to squeeze my workouts in the morning before James wakes up or if I have time between my nanny arrives and I have to leave for work, so it hasn’t left me much time to do more than the cardio portion, but I’m excited to be doing something. Although I’d like to hit the gym every day, I’m lucky if it happens a few times a week and some weeks, it doesn’t happen at all, but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. In general, I’m trying to be as active as possible. Of course, getting sidelined by the stomach flu last week kept me from doing any workouts, and I haven’t been able to get back on track, but I’m trying to walk as much as I can and take advantage of the nice weather to get outside and be active on weekends. I know it’ll make it easier to deliver, to get back in shape post-baby, and I really do find that working out helps with my overall mental health and wellbeing, but it’s hard with everything going on and being exhausted all the time to squeeze it in as much as I should. With that said, I’ve been so stressed, and I find I’m much less stressed and irritable on days I work out, so if anyone has any good tips or gentle workouts they like to do during pregnancy, let me know.
Have you changed your diet?
Not really other than avoiding caffeine (although I’ve been slipping in my second trimester) and the other foods you can’t eat while pregnant (spicy tuna rolls how I miss thee). I’ve been trying to maintain a fairly healthy diet (check out my fertility diet here), but I definitely have let myself indulge a bit more, especially on weekends and if I’m craving something.
I was never much of a snacker, but I’m finding sometimes in the afternoon, I need a snack just to get through the day or to make it through my commute home from work. It’s like I have to have it or I feel like I’m going to be able to continue, which is definitely something new. Despite trying not to gain as much weight this time around, I am finding that now I’m in my second trimester, I can’t resist cravings. I’m starting to get hungrier more often and if I see a cookie, sometimes it’s like I have to have it and nothing can stop me. I try to limit it to one, but I mean sometimes, it’s more like five… or ten. I have been craving avocado a lot more and the occasional burger but other than that, I haven’t had any really weird cravings. I always wonder if someone just made up the whole visual of the pregnant lady eating pickles and ice cream, but maybe it’s a thing?
To be honest, I have been so busy I haven’t had a lot of time to think about my diet, so I wish sometimes I was being more conscious to eat more salmon or to whip up more nutritious dinners, but overall, I’m a pretty healthy eater and really serious about sticking to organic foods. I’m hoping on maternity leave I’ll have some time to master some easy dishes I can make so I can start cooking more for our family, but right now, is just not the time. By the time I get home from work, I just want to squeeze in time with James before bath and bed, and then I’m too tired and hungry to cook, so I’m all about buying pre-prepared meals from the grocery store or ordering takeout, which isn’t always the healthiest but we live in a city where takeout is so convenient and easy and delicious so it’s hard not to.
Are you planning a babymoon or any trips?
The million dollar question and one I had hoped to have an answer to by the time I got around to writing a second trimester update! We have been trying to plan a parents only trip forever, and work and life keep sidelining us. We couldn’t travel for so long because our life was basically on hold doing fertility treatments, and then when I got pregnant, we decided to take a trip sans James. We figured it would be harder to do that when we had two kids. Plus, James is two and a half and we’ve only been away from him for like one night at a time for weddings. We really need some time just the two of us. But then work has gotten really busy for both of us, and we’re trying to move before the baby arrives, so there hasn’t been a good time for both of us to get away. I really want us to get a bit of a break before the baby arrives, so I’m thinking we might just need to make this an impromptu situation and take advantage of a long weekend. I’m actually debating right now if I should just book us something for Memorial Day weekend if we can get someone to watch James.
Have you started designing the nursery?
I am so excited to start working on the nursery but we’ve been in a bit of a holding pattern while we try to figure out where we’re going to live and when we’re going to move. We’re in the process of it all, so I’ll fill you all in when we know, but as soon as we move, I am definitely going to be scheming an adorable nursery and a new big boy room for James.
Have you told James? How did he respond?
We’ve tried to tell him and we talk about it with him a lot, but honestly, he has no clue what’s coming. He loves playing with his friends’ little baby siblings, but he is too young to really understand what’s happening and I think he’s going to have a hard time no longer being the total center of our universe. He thinks my belly is funny though, and this morning told me to cover it up because clearly, I’m outgrowing all my shirts lol.
How are you prepping James for the new baby?
We aren’t? I mean we tell him there’s a baby in my belly and ask him if he’s excited, but I don’t know how much we can do beyond that. I mean we had already started potty training, but I’m hoping to be more accident-free before baby’s arrival though I don’t know what will happen when school starts and he isn’t with one of us or the nanny – any tips? We’re going to transition him to a big boy bed when we move, but that’s just more logistical. Other than that and watching a lot of Boss Baby (purely because he loves it — we didn’t even realize that it might be prepping him for what’s to come), we haven’t done much. Any suggestions?
Have you bought anything for the baby?
A single onesie (but it’s really cute!). That’s it and only because Andrew practically forced me to when we were at the mall in the burbs one day. I have been so paranoid about not jinxing anything that I haven’t bought anything. I want to wait to buy any big items since we’re hopefully moving before the baby arrives, but I have been doing a lot of purging. This is partly for the move and partly because I need somewhere to divert my nesting energy. I did finally get my act together to start selling a bunch of our furniture and strollers (like the ones we used once and probably should have never bought, sigh) and donated a bunch of stuff. I am starting to feel like I should start preparing and taking inventory of what we have and need, but with everything we have going on, something tells me that’s not going to happen until the last minute. I did make a post with everything we’re buying for baby #2, so at least I have my list done?
Are you wearing maternity clothes now?
Yes and no. I’m not a big maternity clothes fan. I found that I haven’t wanted to wear any that I saved from last time except for maternity jeans and shorts. So far I’ve been able to get away with wearing things already in my closet that can accommodate a bump or buying a few choice items with maxi waistlines or things a size or two up. I did buy this jumpsuit from Hatch that is literally the most comfortable thing ever and I plan to live in it now and after the baby is born, but that’s it in terms of “maternity clothes”. I have switched over to maternity jeans (although I do rock the bella band with my regular jeans a lot too) and have a couple pairs of maternity shorts I’ll wear when it gets warmer. Other than that, I have made do largely with non-maternity dresses and what I have. Check out one of my favorite non-maternity looks here.
Are you having any pregnancy symptoms?
I can’t remember what you typically experience in your second trimester, but my morning sickness/constant nausea went away at like 10 weeks, and I’ve felt pretty good since minus the flu and colds I keep getting hit with. I have been feeling a lot of glorious kicks recently. This baby is actually really active, and I love it. It helps with my paranoia about the baby’s wellbeing, and I just love feeling the baby move. I also got my first experience with baby hiccups in utero and it was hilarious. Such a weird and adorable feeling.
Are you finding out the gender?
Do you have names picked out?
Ugh. I thought we’d have so many names especially by the time I would be sharing a second trimester update, but nothing has felt right so we don’t really have anything we’re in love with. I’ve also been superstitious so I don’t want to plan too much lest I jinx us and something goes wrong. With James, we had a lot of trouble coming up with boy names and didn’t know what we were having, so when he arrived we didn’t have a name set. He didn’t have a name for his first five minutes and then I was like someone has to make a call, and I turned to my husband and was like, James? And he was like yes, and the rest is history.
What are you most looking forward to?
So many things I don’t even know where to begin. But I think seeing James interact with his sibling and for them to grow up and play together and to have a special bond. I am also so happy to be on our way to that big, crazy, full family I always dreamed about. Despite all our struggles, I still want that big family, and hope that we will have more babies one day, but either way, I’m so happy that James will have a sibling and a built-in buddy and playmate. I can’t wait to do things as a family and to watch our family grow and expand. Oh, and I’m so excited to hold a little baby again and go through that whole process. I loved every second of everything with James, even the middle of the night feedings, and I can’t wait to do it again.
How have you changed your beauty routine?
In addition to cutting out retinoids and all the other ingredients you’re not supposed to have, am trying to clean up my beauty routine. I switched to natural deodorant and now I’m trying to go more clean with my other products, including lotions and sunscreens. I’ll do a whole post on it soon.
Ok, that’s it for now. If I didn’t get to one of your questions, hmu, I’m definitely going to be doing more posts on pregnancy style and prepping for baby and all that, but let me know what you want me to cover.