Home At Home Help! We’re Taking Our First Vacation Without James and We Can’t Decide What Type of Trip to Take

Help! We’re Taking Our First Vacation Without James and We Can’t Decide What Type of Trip to Take

by krismkoch

This March, Andrew and I will celebrate our five year wedding anniversary. I’m kind of in shock that we’ve been married for five years. It feels like we just got married. Five years kind of crept up on us, and we want to do something special to mark the milestone. Usually we just go out to eat and exchange gifts, but I want to make sure we’re celebrating the bigger milestones in our relationship and lives, and this feels like one.

We’ve also never really been away just the two of us since James has been born. We’ve gone on a few trips but only to weddings and mostly just overnight. We even brought James to a wedding in California with us this summer rather than leaving him behind. But it’s kind of sad that our only true alone time (for more than a few hours on date night that is) has been when we’re with 150 other people and catching up with friends we don’t always see at someone else’s nuptials.

To be honest, up until this point, I haven’t really felt all that ready to leave James alone. The baby stage felt so fleeting and I really didn’t want to miss a moment. I also felt guilt as a working mom, since weekends are my only really uninterrupted time with him, and I hated the idea of leaving him for one. I also wanted to spend the vacation time we had as a family. And I’m glad we did, we’ve had some really memorable vacations that have helped us grow as a family and as parents and given me so much joy.

BUT… raising a toddler is HARD, and I’m ready for a break. I have found I’ve lost myself a bit in motherhood and our relationship has definitely taken a backseat. We’ve definitely grown closer this last year and a half as we’ve struggled with infertility but we’ve also been so focused on treatments (and the expense of it) that vacations took a backburner. Expanding our family has been our number one priority, but a big anniversary is the perfect excuse for us to get away and get a break from all the stress that treatments have put on us and just the general stress of work and oh yeah, raising a tiny dictator whose middle name is Defiant with a capital D.

We’re a little late to the planning, but it’s been a crazy start to the year, so while we’d love to go over our anniversary at the end of March, we’re considering going in early April to give us more time.

We’re debating between a more bucket list trip like Morocco or Iceland, or something easier so we can just sleep and relax like Bermuda or Sea Island or maybe if Hawaii for a mix of the two. My brain says to go on a bucket list trip now while we only have one kid (much easier to leave behind with the nanny or in-laws than two), but I’m honestly so exhausted that the idea of just flying to the nearest beach and doing nothing but eating and sunning ourselves also sounds really nice.

So I really need your help from your own experience as to what kind of trip we should do. I feel this pressure to do something far and crazy because I’m worried it’ll be our last opportunity to do that for a long time and it would be memorable, but the exhaustion makes me just want to be in the easiest environment possible for the two of us to just hang out.

What would you do and any recs for where we should go?

On Me: DressSandals

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4 comments

anne roderique-jones February 13, 2019 - 3:38 pm

I I love Bermuda and it’ so easy from NYC–that said, it may not be super warm in March (I was there in Feb and could lounge by the pool but not play in the beach). April might be nice, though. There are great hotels, good food, and it’s preppy and cute. I also love Hawaii (Kauai is my fave), and it’s so nice for beach, healthy food, and great hiking. It’s also so great for families so you could save it (seriously, the plane will be filled with babies and toddlers). I’m always happy to give recs! And happy anniversary! XO

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krismkoch February 13, 2019 - 4:12 pm

This is so helpful! We’ve been thinking about Bermuda but I definitely need it to be warm and sunny. We went to Kauai for our honeymoon and it’s one of my favorite places in the world. I’m tempted to go back. It’s such a great place. Thank you! I definitely may hit you up for more recs!

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barnett February 14, 2019 - 8:11 pm

I know it’s far but Hawaii is always a good idea. So relaxing and no Zika!

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krismkoch February 15, 2019 - 5:28 pm

thank you! hawaii is such an amazing spot. it’s definitely on our list!

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