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My 2019 New Year’s Resolutions

by krismkoch

I am the type who totally makes resolutions and then forgets about them a month later, beats herself up, and then does it again the next year. I can’t help it. I love the possibility of a fresh start and a new year. Even though it might seem futile or a trap just to make you feel bad, I think it’s good idea to stop and reset and reflect on what you want to accomplish. Otherwise, it’s so easy to get so crazy on the hamster wheel of life that you find another year has gone by and you aren’t any closer to achieving any of your dreams. I’m a big believer that you make your own destiny and you need to take charge of your dreams if you want to make them happen. So even if I’ve found myself moving slower toward my dreams than my impatient self would like, I like to start the year thinking about what I want to accomplish and set some goals for what I want to accomplish. They may not all happen, but at least I’m heading in the right direction. The funny thing is that usually I start making my resolutions before the holiday debauchery, but this year, things have been so busy, especially in the last month of the year, that I really didn’t have time to reflect on the year or the one ahead. So it’s January 1, and I’m just getting around to making my resolutions, but better late than never, right?

Grow this blog. One of my biggest goals for the year is to grow this blog. Yesterday was one of my biggest days of the year traffic-wise, and it was the motivation I needed to really focus on growing this community next year. I wrote a post about why I started the blog and asking for what you want to see next year. Please let me know so I can make more of the content you love this year. I have also made a pledge to myself to post on the reg. I try to post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but this year, I’m going to be committed to those posting days — and to the franchises I’ve been doing. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I try to post about motherhood on Mondays, shopping or style tips on Wednesdays and my week in outfits on Fridays. I’ve tried to do more posts throughout the week when I have time, but I want to make this schedule a non-negotiable.

Be more patient and present with James. Reading other mom’s New Year’s resolutions is making me feel better. It seems I’m not the only one who struggles to be patient with my toddler and to stay off my phone and not think about work and the millions of other things I have to do. Patience is something I really have to work at, especially when James is being a total twonager, but I want to focus on giving him more positive reinforcement and undivided attention so that he doesn’t act up for attention. I also think this will help me to realize when James is tired, hungry, etc. to help avoid meltdowns before they start. When I get home, I’m going to put my phone down and be present for James until he goes to bed. After bed, I’ll get back at the phone and work, but I’m really going to focus on being with James during that period, and same with the mornings, which are a little harder, but I’m still going to try my best to be focused on James when I’m home and I have the rest of the day/night to be on my phone.

Plan and cook healthier meals for my family. I made a real effort to order less takeout and to eat healthier on weekends toward the end of this year, and then it all went to shit over the holidays, but I want to get back to it. I also really want to challenge myself to cook more. I want to take better control of what we consume and the only way to ensure we’re really eating well is for me to be involved in prepping what we eat. As a working mom with a side hustle, I just don’t have time to cook and prep every meal (and frankly, I don’t have the motivation either), but I can cook more on weekends when I have time to figure out what the eff I’m doing in the kitchen. And actually, that would make the biggest impact because that’s when we tend to order out the most and eat the most junk, so my new plan is to cook on weekends rather than ordering in and going out for all our meals and hopefully, some of the meals I can learn for weekdays when I have time too.

Eat healthier and exercise daily. Speaking of food, I really want to get control of my diet and exercise habits. This year was really tough on my body. The fertility treatments we did made me gain weight and struggle to take it off, and added to the stress and depression of dealing with infertility and I definitely put on some lbs, which in turn made me feel even worse. This year, I’m going to make it a point to exercise every day, even if that means waking up at the butt crack of dawn to get to the gym before James wakes up and figuring out how to incorporate more exercise into our weekends. I’m also going to stop making excuses for my eating habits, and cut back on desserts, carbs, sugar and all the stuff I know I shouldn’t be eating. I really want to be the healthiest I can possibly be this year, and that starts with what I put into my body.

Travel to one of my bucket list places. We actually did more traveling in 2018 than I expected we’d do with a toddler, but we stayed in the U.S.. We wanted to avoid Zika in case I get pregnant, and honestly, the idea of traveling outside the country with a toddler or leaving our toddler behind and traveling far away wasn’t something I was ready for. But this year, I really want to take a big trip. Traveling is one of my favorite things to do and I love exploring new places, and before I got pregnant with James, I did a ton of traveling. Since Zika came into the picture, I haven’t done much but I am going to find a place on my bucket list that isn’t a Zika risk for our fifth year (!!!) anniversary in March.

Plan more weekend activities. Weekends can be stressful. We often don’t know what to do with ourselves or our toddler, and I get anxious about wasting the precious family time we have. I also get stir crazy staying inside as does James — he really needs to be active and get lots of stimulation. We often get into fights because we can’t decide what to do and then James starts getting riled up and I get annoyed that we didn’t make a plan and blah blah. So this year, I want to be more proactive about making fun plans for our weekends. Not only will it give us something to look forward to, but it will actually make things less stressful and allow us to enjoy our down time more. There’s so much we can take advantage of in the city that I feel like James is finally old enough for us to do. I also want to plan more activities for Andrew and I, including monthly date nights and more playdates with parents and nights out with friends. We really haven’t made a point to do that since having James on the reg, but when we do, we’re always much happier afterward and have a good time, so I really want to focus on doing that more.

Be more confident in myself. One thing I’ve always struggled with is believing in myself. I always think I’m not good enough. It’s part of my perfectionist tendencies and I used to see it as a virtue — it always pushed me to work harder and achieve more. However, I think in my career it’s actually been a hindrance, keeping me from moving up as fast and from moving forward. This year, I really want to start believing in myself more and knowing that I’m good at what I do, I have valuable things to say and contribute, and that I belong here, doing what I’m doing.

Come from a place of positivity. This is a hard one for me, but on the same note, I also want to believe that good things are coming, appreciate the things I have, and stop always thinking I could/should be doing more or having more. I always beat myself up for not being at a certain place in my life yet, or that what I’m doing is not enough. Even on weekends I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough stimulating and educational things for James. I want to start really appreciating what I have and also believing that more good things are coming (rather than my normal mindset which is that I am unfairly doomed and the world is against me, which this past year, it really has felt like at times). I want to believe that our dreams will happen and in myself to make them happen. After all, if not me then who?

Buy and fix up a house. I wrote about our suburbs debate last year, and honestly, we’re still debating, but I have always wanted to fix up an old house. I love being really hands-on and DIY, and ever since I can remember, I loved decorating and renovating old spaces, and I have felt this pull to do it myself for over a year. I know it’s a risk and a big investment, but I feel a real pull to do it and I feel like it might be my next calling, so I really want to make building a home for our family a priority, whether it’s a full-time or weekend place. Just being able to start looking and imagining the possibilities of what we could do with an old charmer is giving me life already.

Shop smarter — and buy fewer things. I actually think this was my resolution last year too, but I really want to be better about investing in pieces that I will wear on repeat and for years to come, and most importantly, that I will be excited to put on every time I wear it. I also want to be more conscious about buying less and buying smarter. It’s hard for me when I’m looking for a quick fix, but I am always happier with fewer items that I really love and maybe cost more than a bunch of H&M and Zara finds that I love for a season and then never want to see again (and I’m not knocking H&M and Zara — I also have pieces from there that I’ve worn for years and years. I’m just going to try to buy more of those pieces.) It’s hard when you work in fashion but I really want to buy less this year. And to kick off the year, I’ve started ruthlessly purging my closet of items I don’t wear. I don’t care if I think one day I’ll wear it or blah blah. If I don’t love how it looks on me or it’s uncomfortable or if I just don’t wear, I’m getting rid of it. I started selling items on the Real Real and Thred Up, which makes it easier to part with items I don’t wear but invested in, and I’m going to find places that I can feel good about donating for the rest, as I know that’ll make me feel better about giving away items that are great but I just don’t wear anymore.

Ok, I think that’s it. Phew, that’s a lot. What about you? What are your goals for 2019? What do you want to accomplish this year? Also, please tell me what you want to see on the blog this year, so I can work on resolution number 1!

On Me: Cardigan (on sale for under $50!)

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